Willis Menard knew he might be onto something special when his blind mother leaned over to him and said “That man at the end of the bar, I think he’s interested in you.”

Seventeen years after they first met, six years after they started their business together and four years after they committed to each other in a Mardi Gras-style ceremony in Las Vegas, Menard and Donald “Blue” Fremin — the man at the end of the bar — say they are “very happy.” They have a strong set of friends, many of whom are customers at “Mr. Blue,” the bar they own jointly. They adopted a dog and have a home together. They sometimes finish sentences and answer questions in unison.

What they don’t have is an automatic right to the legal benefits of marriage because they are gay and Louisiana does not recognize same-sex marriage.

Willis Menard, left, and his partner Donald 'Blue' Fremin, light candles to decorate their home near St. Martinville. The two have lived as a couple for 17 years. - Bill Smith / The Daily Iberian

Nevada doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage either, but in Las Vegas, where they say they were “married,” chapels still perform the ceremony, issuing a certificate instead of a marriage license. The only states that recognize same-sex marriage are Massa-chusetts and California, which began marrying same-sex couples Monday.

“I’m glad for ’em. I am,” Fremin said of the decision in California.

“I think it’s great,” Menard said.

Menard said he thinks the ability to marry could have far-reaching positive effects, helping keep people together for longer and reduce incidences of sexually transmitted disease.

There is also the matter of legal rights.

Everything Menard and Fremin own is in both their names.

“We had to go through a lot of trouble — hire lawyers — because a lot of people don’t realize, but if he (Fremin) died, his share goes to the state,” Menard said. “And that’s totally wrong; it’s what we have we worked together for.”

Menard said the couple had to spend extra money to ensure the state doesn’t take Fremin’s half of what they own, should something happen to him.

“And I think that’s totally wrong,” he said, adding “We can’t file taxes together. We pay taxes, both of us.”

Those taxes are paid in the Teche Area, their native home.

Fremin, 63, was born in New Iberia, and Menard, 57, in Abbeville. Now they live in St. Martinville.

Menard and Fremin were close to their own and each other’s mothers, with Menard promising Fremin’s mother, shortly before she died, that the couple would always be together and she didn’t have to worry about “Blue.”

Fremin said he “always” knew he was gay; he wasn’t alone in this in his family. Out of his four siblings, he had a brother and has a sister who are gay, too. His father had difficulty accepting his homosexuality at first but is now coming around, he said.

Menard’s sister took him to a priest when she first found out he was gay.

Menard was married twice before, both times to women, and he has two daughters from his first marriage.

“I knew married life with a woman wasn’t right for me, and with the situation in Louisiana, I done it for my family, I think,” said Menard. “And when (he met Fremin) I realized that’s what I wanted. I tried two women. We got along like cats and dogs.”

When he and his first wife separated, she left with their two girls, and a private detective Menard hired was unable to find them.

It took 34 years for Menard and his daughters to be reunited only two years ago.

“That’s why now, I cry for nothing,” he said.

Menard and Fremin said there are no support groups for gays in the area that they know of, but said they think the groups are needed.

People in the community and their families have mostly been supportive, they said.

Despite that support, odds are St. Martinville residents haven’t seen them kiss.

Menard and Fremin do not demonstrative of their affection in public, out of respect, they said for the feelings of others.

Even their best friend has never seen them hold hands or show intimate affection toward each other, they said.

“The only time we dance in front of ’em (their bar patrons) is on our anniversary and New Year’s Eve,” said Menard, adding most of the customers are “straight.”

“And they all stand up and clap for us.”

Although they may not be demonstrative, they don’t hide the fact they’re together.

“We just don’t hide anything, and people just like it better,” Fremin said.